Relationship Tools
Free tools for the work between sessions.
Quizzes, planners, calculators and worksheets to help you see your patterns and do something different — whether or not we ever work together. Every tool is free, and nothing you enter is saved.
Interactive & AI-assisted
Tools you can use right now
Assessment · 25 min
The Discernment Assessment
A private, 25-minute “should I stay or go?” reflection built on the research (Gottman, Hanson, Real, Sexton) — with a directive reading, a 30-day plan, and a decision framework.
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AI-assisted
Prepare for a hard conversation
An AI-assisted tool that helps you organize what you want to say — then builds a prompt for ChatGPT or Claude to help you say it well.
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AI-assisted
Draft a repair message
Said something you regret, or gone quiet too long? This builds an AI prompt to help you write an honest, non-defensive repair.
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Interactive
Relationship check-in (interactive)
Answer ten quick questions and get an honest read on where things stand — right here, nothing saved, nothing sent.
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Self-guided tools
For couples
Quizzes and planners for the patterns two people fall into — and the conversations that get you out.
Quiz · 4 min
Which losing strategy is yours?
Fifteen quick questions based on Terry Real’s five losing strategies. See the move you reach for under stress, and what to try instead.
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Reflection · 3 min
What’s your attachment pattern?
Twelve questions on the two dimensions researchers use, anxiety and avoidance. See where you sit and what it means for how you and your partner fight and reconnect.
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Agenda builder · 2 min
Build your weekly couple check-in
Choose a length and what to cover, and get a printable agenda for a weekly relationship meeting, with prompts, ground rules and a calendar reminder.
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Quiz · 4 min
What is my love language?
Eighteen quick questions show how you most like to receive love, as a full profile rather than a single label, with words to tell your partner.
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Guide · 4 min
What is my partner’s love language?
Work out how your partner most likely feels loved from what they do, ask for and complain about, with concrete ideas for this week.
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Self-guided tools
At a crossroads
Before a wedding, after an affair, or when one of you is leaning out.
Decision guide · 3 min
Should we try counselling? Your next step
One of you leaning in, one leaning out? Answer a few questions about where each of you stands and see which kind of help fits right now.
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Checklist · 6 min
Premarital readiness check
Eighteen conversations most couples should have before the wedding, covering money, kids, families, conflict and more. Get a printable list of the ones you haven’t had yet.
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Planner · 5 min
Separating-well planner
If you’ve decided to separate: a printable plan for telling the kids, the first 30 days, and the BC resources that help, built from your answers.
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Stage guide · 4 min
After an affair: where are we?
Twelve questions place you in the three stages of affair recovery, impact, meaning and moving forward, with what’s normal now and what helps, for either partner.
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Self-guided tools
For men & individuals
Name what you’re feeling, notice when you shut down, and see your own part in the pattern.
Emotion finder · 3 min
What am I actually feeling?
Start with the situation and what your body is doing, then narrow it down to a specific feeling, and a sentence you can say to your partner.
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Self-check · 3 min
Do you shut down in arguments?
A short self-check for flooding and stonewalling, plus a guided 20-minute break with a timer and breathing, so you can step away and actually come back.
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Self-guided tools
Practical
Costs, benefits and the business side of a relationship.
Calculator · 2 min
Therapy cost & benefits calculator
Estimate what a course of counselling will cost after your extended health benefits, and get the questions to ask your insurer before you start.
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Audit · 4 min
Business couple boundary audit
Running a company with your spouse or family? Score five boundaries — work and home, roles, money and power, exit plans, couple time — and see where to start.
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Downloadable worksheets
Print them, fill them in, bring them along
The Same-Fight Worksheet
Map the loop you and your partner fall into — the trigger, your moves, and what's underneath — so you can see it from the outside.
Relationship Check-In
A simple, honest ten-question check-in to take on your own or together, with space to talk about what comes up.
Preparing for Your First Couples Session
What to expect, and a few prompts to help you both arrive ready to make the most of it.
How to Ask Your Partner to Try Therapy
A short, practical guide to raising it without it turning into the very fight you're trying to fix.
These tools are here to help you help yourself. If you'd like a hand using them, that's what the free consult is for.
Book a free 15-minute consultation
A note on this tool. It helps you organize your own thoughts and builds a prompt you can use with a general AI assistant like ChatGPT or Claude. It is not therapy, not personalized advice from Koby, and not a substitute for professional help. Nothing you type here is sent to Koby. If you're in crisis, call or text 9-8-8 or call 9-1-1.