Reflections · Getting Started
What to expect in your first therapy session
The hardest part of a first therapy session is usually the part before it — the not-knowing. Here's the reassuring truth: you don't need to prepare anything, organize your thoughts, or know what's “wrong.” A first session is really just a conversation. We start with a free 15-minute call to see if we're a fit, and the first meeting is simply about understanding what brought you in, at your pace. No couch, no judgment, nothing to perform.
If you've been putting off booking therapy, there's a good chance the reason isn't really the money or the schedule. It's the not-knowing. What will they ask? Will I have to cry? Do I have to explain my whole childhood? Let me take the mystery out of it, because the reality is a lot gentler than the fear.
It starts with a short, free call — not a session
Before you ever book a full session with me, we start with a free 15-minute consultation. It's a low-stakes phone call: you tell me a little about what's going on, I tell you how I work, and we both get a feel for whether we're a fit. There's no pressure and no commitment. If it's not right, I'll happily point you toward someone who might be. Fit matters more than almost anything else in therapy, and this is how we check for it before you invest.
You don't need to have it figured out
This is the part I most want you to hear: you do not need to arrive with your thoughts organized, your problem diagnosed, or the right words ready. "I don't even know where to start" is a completely normal — and completely fine — place to start. Figuring out what's actually going on is the work, not the prerequisite. Come as you are.
What actually happens in the first session
A first session is mostly a conversation. We'll spend it getting to know each other and getting a clear picture of what brought you in. I'll ask what's happening now, what you're hoping might feel different, and a bit about your history — but only as much as you want to share, at your pace. I'll also tell you plainly how I work: my primary training is in Relational Life Therapy, which means I'm honest and direct, warm but not soft — I won't just nod along, and I won't shame you either. And we'll cover the practical stuff: how sessions run, fees, and scheduling. No couch, no clipboard of judgment.
What I'll ask — and what you can ask me
You're allowed to interview me, too. Ask me anything: how I work, whether I've helped people with what you're facing, what I think might be useful, how long this might take. A good first session goes both ways. You're not a patient being processed; you're a person deciding whether this is the right room to do some honest work in.
If you're coming as a couple
A first couples session works much the same way, with one difference: I'm not there to referee or decide who's right. We'll start to map the pattern the two of you get stuck in, so you can both finally see it from the outside instead of living inside it. Most couples leave the first session feeling a little more understood and a little less alone in it.
How you might feel afterward
Most people walk out of a first session thinking some version of "that wasn't as bad as I built it up to be." You might feel relief at finally saying things out loud. You might feel a bit tired — honesty takes energy. You almost certainly won't feel "fixed," and that's exactly right; the first session isn't about fixing, it's about starting. Real change comes from the work we do together over time.
How to start
If you've read this far, you're probably closer to ready than you think. Book a free 15-minute consult and we'll take it from there. I see clients in person in Victoria and securely online across British Columbia. The hardest step really is the first one — and it's smaller than it looks.
Common questions
Do I need to prepare anything for my first therapy session?
No. You don't need to organize your thoughts, diagnose your problem, or know what to say. 'I don't know where to start' is a perfectly normal way to begin — figuring out what's going on is the work, not something you have to do beforehand.
What actually happens in a first therapy session?
It's mostly a conversation. We get to know each other, talk about what brought you in and what you're hoping might change, and touch on a bit of history at your pace. I'll explain how I work and cover the practical details like fees and scheduling. There's no couch and no judgment.
What is the free 15-minute consultation?
It's a short, no-pressure phone call before you book a full session. You tell me a little about what's going on, I explain how I work, and we both check whether we're a good fit. Fit is one of the biggest predictors of good therapy, so it's worth a few minutes up front.
Will I have to talk about my childhood right away?
Only if and when you want to. I may ask a little about your history because it often helps make sense of the present, but you set the pace and share only what feels okay. Nothing is forced.
How will I know if you're the right therapist for me?
Trust your gut after the consult and first session. You should feel that I get what you're dealing with, that I'm honest with you, and that you could do real work in the room. You're welcome to ask me questions too — a good fit goes both ways, and if it's not right I'll help you find someone who is.
Do you offer first sessions online or only in person?
Both. I see clients in person in Victoria, BC and securely online anywhere in British Columbia, so you can start whichever way is easiest for you.
How much does a session cost?
Individual sessions are $200 for 60 minutes and couples sessions are $300 for 90 minutes, and the initial 15-minute consultation is free. You can see the current details on the fees page.
A note: This article is general information, not therapy or a substitute for it. If you're in crisis or need urgent help, please call or text 9-8-8 (Suicide Crisis Helpline) or call 9-1-1.