Therapy for Anger & Reactivity in Victoria, BC
When anger keeps landing on the people you love.
Anger isn't the enemy. But when it runs the show, it costs you the very relationships you're trying to protect.
Is this you?
When the fuse gets short
- Snapping over small things, then regretting it
- A short fuse at home you'd never show at work
- Going from zero to sixty before you even clock it
- Seeing the fear or hurt on faces you love
- Tired of being the person who blows up
Anger is the tip of the iceberg
For a lot of people — men especially — anger is the one feeling that ever got a pass. So hurt, fear, shame, and exhaustion all come out wearing anger's clothes. The work isn't to suppress the anger; it's to get curious about what it's protecting, and to build a gap between the spark and the reaction.
Read more in anger is the tip of the iceberg.
How the work goes
Get underneath it, and build the pause
We learn your particular pattern — the body cues, the triggers, the story that fires just before you do — and get underneath the anger to whatever it's guarding. Then we build the practical skills: catching it early, calming the body before it floods, and saying the real thing ('I felt disrespected,' 'I'm scared I'm failing') instead of slamming a door. This is individual work, and it connects directly to therapy for men and, where the fallout has hit your relationship, couples work. It's grounded in Relational Life Therapy: honest, practical, no shame.
Questions
Anger & reactivity questions
Is it bad to feel angry?
No. Anger is normal and useful information — it usually signals a crossed boundary or an unmet need. The problem isn't the feeling; it's when anger is the only feeling you can reach, so everything comes out as anger and the people you love take the heat.
Is this an anger management class?
Not a class — real therapy. Rather than just teaching you to count to ten, we get underneath the anger to what's driving it, so it stops running the show from the inside.
Can anger be a sign of something else?
Sometimes. Irritability and a short fuse can be how stress, burnout, or depression show up — particularly in men. If that's what's underneath, we'll work with it directly.
Do you work with anger individually or as a couple?
Both. Often we start with individual work on the reactivity itself, and bring in couples sessions where the anger has damaged the relationship.
Do you offer this online in BC?
Yes. In person in Greater Victoria and securely online anywhere in British Columbia.
Therapy for men · Individual therapy · Anger is the tip of the iceberg
You don't have to figure this out alone.
The consultation is 15 minutes, by phone, and free. We'll talk about what's bringing you in, what you're hoping will change, and whether I'm the right person to help. No preparation, no pressure to book.